Run in fear! Haggizdonny shootz a REAL GUN, with real live bullets of metal and stuff.

This was totally sweet. I pure shot a handgun in my girlfriend's back yard. Her dad was like "Wanna shoot a gun?" and I was like "sure!" so we grab some earmuff things and go outside, then he just whips out a bad-ass looking handgun. He just had it on him in a holster the whole time!
Then he told us how the safety worked, and said "see that pin at the back? that means it's loaded, cocked, and there's one in the chamber." I thought that was pretty much awesome.
Anyways, for some reason they let me shoot it, and they took two videos, here's my two tries at shooting a gun. Notice me startle in fear the first time I shoot it (video 1), and the big goofy grin when I shoot all fast and stuff (video 2).



Also, check out the angry/evil looking gingerbread man my girlfriend made.

"just fecking write the blog already" THE RED.

I've tried to write this a bunch of times, but how can you cover such great climbing, ace banter, and fantastic people in a blog? Not to mention the I don't rite good. Plus you don't get pc++ from it, but nevermind that.
So here's the short version.

After a short delay in getting started (hint: it was me) I met up with Allan and a few of his friends to nab a lift down to winston-salem, where I was to meet up with Nancy, with whom I would then venture forth to the land of Kentucky.
Can I just take a moment and say if you are EVER going through Winston-Salem, swing by "Bell Brothers". It's a cafeteria style restaurant place and the food is AMAZING. They had the best fried chicken I've ever had, and the fried ochra [spelling?] was mega tasty. Everyone was nice, and it just had a positive feel to it.
Anywhoozlbees, this aint a food blog, let's get on with the climbing!
Unfortunately I don't remember every detail of the climbing, but I'll try and go over the points I do remember (no more putting of blogging).

So, after what started as a beautiful but eventually deteriorated into a wet windy and dark drive we arrived at what some would call the very center of north American spurt climbing - Miguel's Pizza.


Arriving at Miguel's Pizza
There was a crowd out front, so after swiftly throwing together my bivi tent in the goat field and sorting out my food and dumping it in Nancy's tent (MISTAKE! read on to find out the tragic end which the tent met, and why I had no cookies), I headed to he front of the shop with the aim to meet some characters. After several "Hey, I'm Magnus and I don't know anyone here, hows it going?" introductions I found myself emerged in convorsation. I quickly met my first rc.commer, Dew4theQ, or Johnny Q - a hilarious character who not only pulls of the leather cowboy hat but looks kinda strange without it...
The great banter I grew to love (then miss) was had, with Johnny Q and his friends (Zach, Dereik, and... shitz, I forgetz) enjoying several bottles of Gatoraid (read: yuengling) from the keg in the back of their truck. I was sure I had caught site of rc.com's very own Clausti, but couldn't be sure, and no contact was made (okay, she avoided me due to expecting me to be annoying. deep burn).
The next morning, buzzing and looking foreward to my first taste of RRG rock, I geared up quickly and waited by Nancy's jeep while she got one or two things together.


















A busy car park and Vanland at Migeul's Pizza

Whilst I was waiting I heard a strange flute-like sound, which I realised was coming from some dude sitting by a nearby car. I headed over to meet the guy, who seemed a real character to be sure, and he introduced himself. "Hi there, Magnus, I'm Bab", "Bab, eh?" I replied.
"Nonono, not bAb, Bab, as in Robert" - bwhahah! What an accent! So his name was Bob.


















Bab talking to Nancy

We talked a little, and finding that he was to be alone for the day I invited him along to climb with Nancy and myself.
Soon thereafter, after a quick swing by Koops for a sandwhich and Ale81 to save for lunch, we were loving the Jeep's heavy suspension and 4 wheel drive heading down the pendigras road to The Shire.
The Shire, while not the most inspiring crag I went to during my stay at the RRG, is a very nice crag. On arrival we were a bit disapointed but not put off to find a large group from Perdue university setting up several topropes (well, 2 people were setting up the top ropes and the rest were looking on with the usual first-timers awe).
So I jump on a route they're not using, ready for my first taste of this tasty sandstone.
I don't know the name of the route but it was fun, easy (felt harder then it should have) and had some funky grab-the-pocket-sideways reachy moves on it. The rock was great! Perhaps a little sandy in places, but the features are simply awesome.
Now I may not have explained this earlier, but one of the first things Bob talked to me about was his online group-thing through which he'll teach you about business and (I think) sustainability and the like. He gave me a business card. Let's get one thing straight, I'm not judging this dude based on this on fact, but I did find it EXTREMELY funny to watch him almost systematically work his way through the group from Perdue (paying particular attention to the ladies - note the 20 year age difference*) telling them about this group. I'm almost certain one or two of them got more then one round of it.
It was about this time when the man himself, Johnny Q, showed up. It was pretty lucky they ended up at the same crag (out of hundreds to choose from) as us. They jumped onto a nice looking route (a .10 something I think) which tackled a steep section of the wall on deep but sloping pockets.
Whilst we were doing this, the Perdue group were climbing the TR's on several nice lines (which we later did). Nancy and I went to do another route, meanwhile Bab took some photos, one of which was of a young lady tacking an overhang. He commented on how the silhouette looked great, and how the photo would rock, then [cringe] on how nice her breasts looked from that angle! He sure was a bold guy.
A short while later, after the Perdue group made a hasty retreat, I gave the route that Johnny Q put up a shot. Not surprisingly I was hopelessly pumped almost immediately, but *cough* I hung my way to the top. Then I climbed a slabby but powerful 10, then I hung all over (PUMPED) a steep but juggy 9, then I took photos of Johnny Q climbing this super attractive line:






















Johnny Q enjoying this Astetic and eye catching line at the Shire.

I was tempted to give it a shot, but it was late, and I didn't want to back off only to have someone else climb it to get the draws. This is before I knew the grading system, so I though it was out of reach at 10d, but I reckon I would have had it (with a few hangs eheheheh) had I given it a bash.

Hmmm, that night... Well, I enjoyed a fair amount of *ahem* Gatoraid, and a semi-small amount of Jim Beam. I believe that this occurance was quickly followed by semi-loud and potentially (though I'm told I wasn't) obnoxious ranting about how I got my name, then shameless talk of how parties are more fun when you're nekked. I *believe* that I then invited myself to some girl's party in Michigan in march, and annouced it would be a designated naked party. The whole night was hilarious. I forgot the firl's name, and where the party was, but I think that's for the best...

And THAT was my first 24 hours at the red river gorge. Fuckin' awesome!
I can't remember the next week terribly well, though... I can tell you that at one point I found myself at the Hideout in muir valley climbing Boltergeist. What a line! There's something fantastic about it, not sure quite what it was. Veriety perhaps.
And, in true rc.com style, I had to take the PANCAKES option and make a quick ascent of "International Route of Pancakes" which I can honestly say is the WORST ROUTE I have EVER CLIMBED (including Ochill hill chosspile highballs and FA's). Who the F*** bolted that thing??






















Magnus climbing "international chosspile of pancakes".

Worth it for the pancakes, though.
Hmmmm, what else happened that week? Lots of rock was climbed, lots (AND LOTS) off Ale81 drank (that stuff is fecking awesome) and a movie watched (the changling - good film, I strongly reccomend). And, of course, a visit to the Ale81 factory!

I believe after that we bailed for a few days and hung out in North Carolina for 4 or 5 days, on of which was spent at Pilot Mountain where I had a good time and met some more cool folks. It was also a good confidence boost since I managed to find myself on top of a couple 11s (I think).
The first one was Overhanging Hangover, which was mostly straightforeward except for 2 cruxes, a low one consisting of two small crimps and a long move with good feet, and the top one, pulling over a roof for a mediocure hold with a long move.














































Magnus climbing the lower (top) and upper (bottom) cruxes on Overhanging Hangover.

After that I had a crack at Blind Prophet, which I almost flashed but was spit off by shoulder cramp (not enough water), then later I laughed myself off it when Nancy made some comment about my gut.
Now, the layout of blind prophet is hard to explain, but there is a small roof above which there is a very small ledge. If you use the ledge as a hold then foothold you climb by easily, but if you sit on it you are honestly fucked, facing away from the wall..
Alex told me to sit on it, and I did. I was STUCK for like 15 minutes before I (almost falling off) turned myself around and shakily got back onto the route. What a hilariously evil dickmove. At some point during the day I had a fleeting meeting with TJgosurf, who I would later spend a weekend climbing with. But that's a nother story.

And that summerizes week one at the RRG. Week 2 will be posted soon.

Holy crapdaddies! I forgot about Chossmonkey and Granite_Grrl. One morning, very much feeling like the morning after the night before, I was making my way back to my bivibag from the bog when I was confronted with what seemed to be a maniac's grin. I was still half asleep, and pretty much the only words I caught were "haggisdonny" but I already knew who it was. The man himself (at the time) PC king Chossmonkey, or "Nathan" as real life people seem to call him. We talked a little, and Granite_Grrl made and quick apperance, commenting on the use of "haggisdonny" while offline or something (I'm still asleep, here, and amn't feeling top notch) and some mention of climbing was made. After a quick breakfast of Straberry and cream porridge and some hot cocoa, I met Nate and Rebecca in the carpark and we headed off to Drive-By crag where several fine routes were climbed (or at least mostly climbed), including the classic covershot which I pussed off of on lead but TR'd fine. Who knows what was going through my head. Nate made a nice flash of it, and Rebecca one hung it (well, does a screamer/schreecher of a whipper count as a hang?) and Nate climbed a fine looking 12a. Then we headed over to Bob Marley wall where Nate quickly flashed the 11 at the far left. Holyshitdamn were those bolts rusty - I'm talking foot long + rust stains dripping down from the bolts. No way was I going near that thing. I guess I wasn't feeling brave that day. Then Nate did a 12a or b (or something) in the cave on the right- a sweet looking line going up an imposingly steep ground on deep and heavily pocketed rock (several "oh shitz! rong hold!" moments were had) and it was pretty much dark.

Did I mention how F*cking awesome everyone at Miguel's is? What a crowd. What a crowd.

RC.commers Meeted:
Dew4theQ - Cool guy from, I think, Maryland or Maine. Something like that. Likes to say "Do Battle" and wear a leather cowboy hat - and actually pulls it off.
TJgosurf - A cool fellow, more on him later.
RSmillburn - A nice guy who gave me a lift down from Raleigh to Pilot mountain where I was to meet Nancy to get back up to the red for round 2. Climbs with his wife, Christina, and has a cute baby (the quietest, and therefore awesomest, baby I've ever seen). Also more on him later.
Chossmonkey - While it's temping to lie and slander him and make him sound like an epic g33k, he was actually a genuinely nice guy who climbs hard and can have a good laugh.
Granite_Grrl - Chosmonkey's wife, and another fine climber. Has a good laugh, seems to keep nate in line and out of trouble, and pushes herself hard on the sharp end. More then I can say for myself.

digged up from the archives, some of the folk I've met so far.

Knieveltech, Sungam, and Mikesaint.
















Chezdillion and Limeydave.

















Sungam and Chossmonkey (Note tEh shootzing in fase and stealzing of teh ach beez).

Triangle rock club, Aceto, and what happens when you use the wrong fuel with a Jetboil.

No offense, I like it here and all, but the buses fracking suck. Seriously, public transport here is leaps and bounds behind the system in the UK.
My plan was to head over to Triangle Rock Club (it's a club, mind - not a gym) and meet some of the locals, but I had assumed that a bus would get me within walking distance. I couldn't find info on any such bus, but luckily Knieveltech (Allan) bailed me out with a quick lift into town. Allan is another great character nice enough to go out of his way to help a guy out. He has a pretty cool hairdo, too.
After a quick stop by Wendy's for some JT512 approved climbing nutrition we arrived at Triangle Rock Club where, apon entering, I met a friendly Mikesaint (Micheal) who hooked me up with a free session, shoes, harness and chalkbag (forgetfull much, Magnus?). Then I met Aceto, (Josh) who was... strange to say the least. He also refused to be photographed, saying that "the flash wasn't good for trolls" (sensitive skin or something).
I have to say it's interesting that I haven't met a single dic so far on my trip. Every single person I've met has been dead sound and humorous. Hopefully it stays that way, but I don't doubt that I'll meet some... less amiable characters along the line somewhere.
Anyways, enough rambling. Triangle Rock Club.
There was a fair number of people there (nothing compared to Alien Rock on a tuesday night, though) and everyone seemed laid back but not lazy.
I had a good time dandering about the gym and trying a few problems and routes.
Rumor has it that some of the routes there are a little sandbagged, which personally I hope is true (that one in the corner, Allan? how about that high left foot. WTF, right?) as supposedly easy climbs seemed to require some... unusual moves.
Another thing I found strange, people said it was like this in all US gyms, but using coloured tape instead of using the colour of the holds?
Very confusing, having to look at the tapes and stuff instead of just glancing at the hold.
I left this post without posting it for like ever. Now I forgetted what I was writing. Now it's going to be all cut off and stuff. A quick note about using the correct fuel with Jetboil stoves. Do it. Use the right fuel. The rong fuel iz not gud. Flames come out and brun you and stuff. Luckily I was on my GF's balcony so I could whip that thing (in all it's flaming glory) into the field behind her house so I could go hunt it down with a bucket of water. Other then a few singed hand hairs and a slightly melted mug cover thing all was well. You should have seen my GF's face when I ran into her room and said "the stove burst into flames so I threw it into the field. How do I get round the backl, and do you have a bucket?"

People I meet:
Knieveltech, Real name Allan. He was cool. If I remember clearly he said "fuck" a fair few times (reminded me of Kirkcaldy, actually...) He had a cool jeep/truck thing with what I believe was slackline stuff in it. From this I assume he slacklines. And for everyone who is wondering... no, he wasn't wearing his leopard print lycra (thank gawd!).

Aceto, real name Josh. This dude was wierd. He mainly hid under the front desk saying it was the next best thing to a bridge.

Mikesaint, real name Mike. This dude gets points for making my excusion free. He got to climb and post while getting paid. This makes me jealous. Ver', ver' jealous.

Pilot mountain and why I hate flying.

I've ranted about this enough so I'm going to make it short.
Flying sucks, delayed flights suck, missing flights because the flight before was delayed sucks, spending the night in detroit because the next flight is almost noon the next day sucks. I hate flying.

On a lighter note, the trip so far (ie 2 days) has been pretty much great. On Friday morning I met up with Limeydave to go clipping bolts at pilot mountain. After a short delay caused by an unknown party (hint: it was limeydave) we were on our way. We swung by McDonalds for breakfast to get that authentic American feel (Dave, I still owe you like 2 bucks) and were at the crag in no time.
It was a fairly nice crag, a little polished in places with a kind of Bowden/Kyloe-In esque rock.

Once got to the amphitheatre we met a group of people Dave had arranged to hook up with on the partner finding forums (people actually use those?). They were all pretty cool. Antony [sixleggedinsect], Jeff [Chezdillion-I think], Justin, and Nancy.
There was a small issue due to the fact that I forgot one of my climbing shoes (I did pack at 4 AM) but -i think it was Jeff- Lent me a nice par of Scarpa Vision Velcros which he ended up giving me at the end of the day (thanks man! 5*)

First "rouwt" Dave and i did was a 5.6 toprope, it was pretty fun. I have no idea what it was called. We climbed to the top and lowered off.

Then I tried to lead a five point ten a. I put on a show that would make Elvis proud
but managed to keep the onsight. The crux was a delicate traverse across a blank-ish face with just one foothold which made for a funky foot swap.
Then Dave had a little incident involving a stalker bee that followed him up the route he was leading buzzing around his face to the point where he almost jumped off.
After a quick munch we climbed a route (Black Rain, I think?) in two pitches so Dave could sit in the sun while he belayed me. It was a fun route - just off verticle, enough to give you a wee pump, but with big buckets and a beautiful view over what seemed to be most of NC.
Then we headed back to the amphitheater where Justin (was it Justin?) was climbing over the huge roof at the top. After a few bombz he finished the route and said i should try it on top rope.
I wasn't feeling too confident that day (having just hopped off the plane the day before) but I decided to give it a shot on TR. I fell off.
It was fun, though - nice moves from an undercling to some good jugs along the roof.

So then Justin (or was it Jeff?) gave me his shoes. That rocked. All I had to give him was a peanut butter and chocolate chip chewy bar.

Hopefully I'll have the pictures soon (though I'm not sure how many there were).

Oh, and next time I promise the writing will be better, and the subject more interesting.


Users met today:
Limeydave. Real name Dave. Funny guy, has a cool beard thing going. Doesn't like bees.
Sixleggedinsect. Real name Antony. Is just finishing a long-ish road trip, and has a cool website (http://electricant.net).
Chezdillion. Real name Jeff. A strong guy who lives just a few minutes up the road. I hope to meet him again some time when I have a rematch with that big roof (I mite try to lead it this time. Sounds unlikely though, eh?)
I also met a lady called Nancy, whom i believe has some connection with Jeff. She was also very cool and nice, and I believe the source of the free shoes. I think the camera was hers.
Moggs. Real name Justin. Another strong fellow (he also has a neat powerscream type thing) who is just starting a long road trip in his camper van. I'm hoping to hook up with him again at some point along the line.